I received a letter from the worker's comp insurance carrier that my pay will be cut by approximately $150 a week starting the middle of February. This really bites big time. It is hard enough living on my pay without receiving Saturday/Sunday higher rate which I haven't received since being injured. The only thing I can think of to cut now would be smoking (which I know isn't good for me anyway), but would rather quit because I want to quit. I've been afraid to quit before now because I cannot afford to gain any weight with my back in the condition that it is in.
Time will only tell how I will survive. Plus I will no longer have medical and dental benefits once that takes effect. There goes my benefit of getting 3 months of prescriptions for the price of 2 months copay. And this had better not mess up my getting my crowns taken care of. I have been waiting for 2/3/08 to roll around to be eligible to get those fixed.
Life is a drag sometimes! Halfmoon
What a day I had yesterday! After waiting an extra month to get a nerve block, I was finally on my way to get it. Steve was with me because I cannot drive home after getting it. I asked him to call Saturn to check on the status of getting my 2007 Vue back. We had taken it in for the seventh time for the Check Engine light coming on. Saturn had decided my problem was living on a gravel road and dust gets in the gas cap. They've replaced it twice, changed cracked hoses,replaced a black box, and more and still the light comes on. This time they cleaned the undercarriage, dropped the gas tank and cleaned around it. When they went to put the tank back they noticed it is thinner on one side where it connects, than the other side. So this time I get a new gas tank.
Back to Steve calling them. I became really frustrated that this was the reason all along probably, according to Saturn. So I will be driving the loaner for a day or so more which hurts my back to sit in and to get in and out of the car is a killer. On to the nerve block. Dr. Simon said this will be my fourth block since April (I fell in the parking lot at work and have been off on Worker's Comp ever since). Four is too many to have in one year. Also, my pulse is too high to get a block. He also said that I've never had a block on the low right back so he couldn't do it. He said this as he's flipping through my chart noticing my first block was on the right side. At this point the nurse comes in the room as he needs to go take a physician's call.
Talk about stress. I've already taken meds to get this block and now he isn't going to let me get it? When he came back in another nurse walked in. He told her to go ahead and take me across the hall and give me the IV with a sedative and two other drugs to see if they can get my heartrate slower. Mercifully, the rate went down and he came in and did the block. Once it was over Steve took me home and the rest of the evening went uneventfully, thank goodness.
I had four or five herniated disks in my back and a bulging disk in my neck before falling in February. I received those in a car accident back in 2000. A car going the same direction as me came into my lane. I went off the road to avoid it and it still hit me. The driver had fallen asleep at the wheel with his cruise control on. I had nerve blocks for two or three years and then as long as I went to arthritis classes in warm water, I kept it in control. When I fell in February of this year, I received another bulging disk in the lower back and have been in severe pain ever since. I cannot sit, stand or walk for very long and trying to go to sleep is impossible. When I do finally get to sleep, I only sleep for two to three hours and then wake up again in severe pain.
When I complain that life isn't fair I am reminded that there are only two kinds of fair: bus fare and county fair. My back is starting to throb now so I'd best end this here.
Back to Steve calling them. I became really frustrated that this was the reason all along probably, according to Saturn. So I will be driving the loaner for a day or so more which hurts my back to sit in and to get in and out of the car is a killer. On to the nerve block. Dr. Simon said this will be my fourth block since April (I fell in the parking lot at work and have been off on Worker's Comp ever since). Four is too many to have in one year. Also, my pulse is too high to get a block. He also said that I've never had a block on the low right back so he couldn't do it. He said this as he's flipping through my chart noticing my first block was on the right side. At this point the nurse comes in the room as he needs to go take a physician's call.
Talk about stress. I've already taken meds to get this block and now he isn't going to let me get it? When he came back in another nurse walked in. He told her to go ahead and take me across the hall and give me the IV with a sedative and two other drugs to see if they can get my heartrate slower. Mercifully, the rate went down and he came in and did the block. Once it was over Steve took me home and the rest of the evening went uneventfully, thank goodness.
I had four or five herniated disks in my back and a bulging disk in my neck before falling in February. I received those in a car accident back in 2000. A car going the same direction as me came into my lane. I went off the road to avoid it and it still hit me. The driver had fallen asleep at the wheel with his cruise control on. I had nerve blocks for two or three years and then as long as I went to arthritis classes in warm water, I kept it in control. When I fell in February of this year, I received another bulging disk in the lower back and have been in severe pain ever since. I cannot sit, stand or walk for very long and trying to go to sleep is impossible. When I do finally get to sleep, I only sleep for two to three hours and then wake up again in severe pain.
When I complain that life isn't fair I am reminded that there are only two kinds of fair: bus fare and county fair. My back is starting to throb now so I'd best end this here.
Our computer crashed months ago and Steve keeps trying to get the problem solved. I took the computer to a repair shop the last time it crashed and was told the tower was probably going out. The thing is seven years old so I suppose it is time for a new computer but they are so expensive. With me off work it is really not the time to invest money now.
First the computer crashed, then Steve's truck went out, and then our refrigerator died. We had just bought a new lawnmower (which is Steve's pride and joy) and he's still making payments on it. We bought a new refrigerator (which is my pride and joy) which was close to $1000 and he is making payments on it too. So a computer is not high on the list to replace.
My daughter invited me to her apartment and handed me a box. Inside was a laptop computer which she said was an early Christmas present for Steve and I from Heather, Joshua and Abby's families. What wonderful kids we have raised. I was really surprised.
Heather set the computer up for me and then off I went home to play. I worked on it for five weeks or so and it kept shutting down and doing weird things. Finally Steve and I took it back to the store and got the money back. It is sitting in my checking account until we can come up with another two to three hundred dollars so we can get a Dell computer. I can hardly wait. Oh, in the meantime, Steve got this computer completely wiped clean (lost all of our stuff) and it is working somewhat.
Just turning it on for this entry took me three times of getting online to actually be able to pull anything on the internet up. Here's to another few weeks to get a computer that really works! Halfmoon
First the computer crashed, then Steve's truck went out, and then our refrigerator died. We had just bought a new lawnmower (which is Steve's pride and joy) and he's still making payments on it. We bought a new refrigerator (which is my pride and joy) which was close to $1000 and he is making payments on it too. So a computer is not high on the list to replace.
My daughter invited me to her apartment and handed me a box. Inside was a laptop computer which she said was an early Christmas present for Steve and I from Heather, Joshua and Abby's families. What wonderful kids we have raised. I was really surprised.
Heather set the computer up for me and then off I went home to play. I worked on it for five weeks or so and it kept shutting down and doing weird things. Finally Steve and I took it back to the store and got the money back. It is sitting in my checking account until we can come up with another two to three hundred dollars so we can get a Dell computer. I can hardly wait. Oh, in the meantime, Steve got this computer completely wiped clean (lost all of our stuff) and it is working somewhat.
Just turning it on for this entry took me three times of getting online to actually be able to pull anything on the internet up. Here's to another few weeks to get a computer that really works! Halfmoon
Right before Thanksgiving Justin's dad and uncle were killed in a truck rollover accident up in Minnesota. (Justin is Abby's husband.) They had gone up there to check out a classic car that Gilbert (Justin's grandfather) was considering buying. He wanted Mike and Cory's opinion on if it was a good deal.
This has torn up both Justin and our families. How do you deal with two loved ones' deaths at one funeral? There is no answer to the question "Why?". You wonder if they had waited till the next day to drive up, if things would have ended up differently. Justin and Abby had just lost their dog the week before which was difficult enough. When Mike was buried, the dog's ashes were buried with him. How tragic.
Life is so short and you are so rudely reminded of this when something of this nature occurs. Live life to the fullest as if tomorrow could be your last day (you never know, it may prove to be true). Halfmoon
This has torn up both Justin and our families. How do you deal with two loved ones' deaths at one funeral? There is no answer to the question "Why?". You wonder if they had waited till the next day to drive up, if things would have ended up differently. Justin and Abby had just lost their dog the week before which was difficult enough. When Mike was buried, the dog's ashes were buried with him. How tragic.
Life is so short and you are so rudely reminded of this when something of this nature occurs. Live life to the fullest as if tomorrow could be your last day (you never know, it may prove to be true). Halfmoon
I will always remember when Sydney was born. Sarah was only 30 weeks along but due to complications had to deliver Syd early. She was only 13 ounces, I think, and about 13 1/2 inches long. An amazing little fighter, Sydney never had to go on oxygen, but breathed room air immediately after burth. I couldn't believe it when they wheeled her little bed down the hall and there was no oxygen in sight.
She looked like a little man, I'm sorry Syd, but you weren't very pretty yet. When your Dad (Steve) put his hand over you, we could really tell how little you were. I have to hand it to Sarah, she pumped breast milk for you so they could insert it through your IV to nourish you. I used to go to the hospital daily to see you until your Mom and Dad were so sick of me! And when you were finally able to go home (after a few months at the hospital), I came to see you daily until your Dad gently asked me to stop coming so much.
I cried over that, I was so afraid you wouldn't make it at the beginning. It took me back to when your Aunt Heather was born. She was taken from the hospital by ambulance to go the the Nebraska University Hospital where they saved her life. And she was only born three weeks early, not ten like you!
Well, you are six years old now and your Mom and Dad are no longer together, but Lance is your step-dad now and I hear that he's pretty good to you. I'm glad. You now have a little sister, Jadah (from your Dad and Angie), and a little brother, Talon (from your Mom and Lance). I know it's hard now not being the center of attention, but eventually you will come to really love having them around.
Your Dad brings you over when he can and I just love it when he does. You are like a little ray of sunshine in my life and I love it when you immediately run to hug me when you see me. You are so petite, you remind me of me when I was young. I hope you stay that way forever. As your great Aunt Jackie would say "Dynamite comes in small packages!" And if my brother was still alive he would say you are 'cute as a bug's ear'... that's what he and Jackie used to say about me (I hope that was a compliment). I've never seen any bug's ears, so I can't say.
You're not ready to stay at Grandma's alone yet, but I hope that will change soon. We had fun when you and Taylor spent the night, didn't we! I love you so very much! Your Grandma, Halfmoon
She looked like a little man, I'm sorry Syd, but you weren't very pretty yet. When your Dad (Steve) put his hand over you, we could really tell how little you were. I have to hand it to Sarah, she pumped breast milk for you so they could insert it through your IV to nourish you. I used to go to the hospital daily to see you until your Mom and Dad were so sick of me! And when you were finally able to go home (after a few months at the hospital), I came to see you daily until your Dad gently asked me to stop coming so much.
I cried over that, I was so afraid you wouldn't make it at the beginning. It took me back to when your Aunt Heather was born. She was taken from the hospital by ambulance to go the the Nebraska University Hospital where they saved her life. And she was only born three weeks early, not ten like you!
Well, you are six years old now and your Mom and Dad are no longer together, but Lance is your step-dad now and I hear that he's pretty good to you. I'm glad. You now have a little sister, Jadah (from your Dad and Angie), and a little brother, Talon (from your Mom and Lance). I know it's hard now not being the center of attention, but eventually you will come to really love having them around.
Your Dad brings you over when he can and I just love it when he does. You are like a little ray of sunshine in my life and I love it when you immediately run to hug me when you see me. You are so petite, you remind me of me when I was young. I hope you stay that way forever. As your great Aunt Jackie would say "Dynamite comes in small packages!" And if my brother was still alive he would say you are 'cute as a bug's ear'... that's what he and Jackie used to say about me (I hope that was a compliment). I've never seen any bug's ears, so I can't say.
You're not ready to stay at Grandma's alone yet, but I hope that will change soon. We had fun when you and Taylor spent the night, didn't we! I love you so very much! Your Grandma, Halfmoon
I don't remember a lot about the time your Momma struggled to bring you into the world except that she outran the spinal block they had given her and she was too close to have you to get more. What I do remember is what Dr. Holcomb was dressed like when she was checking your mom. A really nice sweater and slacks, no doctors coat, or scrubs. The next thing I knew you were flying out and Dr. Holcomb was struggling to catch you, she finally put you in a football hold and saved you from falling. Thank goodness, I was wondering if I was going to have to catch you myself!
What a glorious day it was after that. Apparently you were what they call 'sunny-side up' or the opposite of the way most babies are born. You little stinker! And you have been sunny-side up ever since.
When I come to your house or you come to mine, you run to me and hug me and usually say "I love you". And your smile lights up my life. Of course you do have some sad and mad times but when you're around Grandma you are usually your little sunny self.
I tried to have you come and spend the night with me, and you really wanted to, but when 8 pm rolled around, you wanted your mom. I suppose that is as it should be. When you get a little older, you'll come to Grandma's with excitement.
You have a little sister now who plays with you and sometimes bugs you. (Especially when she plays with your toys and you don't want her to.) I've heard she's often bopped you on the head when she's mad at you. Well, she'll grow up too someday and you'll wonder where the time went.
Tonight you are leaving for Ohio with your family to see some of your aunts and uncles from Ohio and Mexico. Go with God's grace little one and may he bring you and your loving family back home to Iowa so Grandma can spoil you again. I love you so...Grandma (Halfmoon)
What a glorious day it was after that. Apparently you were what they call 'sunny-side up' or the opposite of the way most babies are born. You little stinker! And you have been sunny-side up ever since.
When I come to your house or you come to mine, you run to me and hug me and usually say "I love you". And your smile lights up my life. Of course you do have some sad and mad times but when you're around Grandma you are usually your little sunny self.
I tried to have you come and spend the night with me, and you really wanted to, but when 8 pm rolled around, you wanted your mom. I suppose that is as it should be. When you get a little older, you'll come to Grandma's with excitement.
You have a little sister now who plays with you and sometimes bugs you. (Especially when she plays with your toys and you don't want her to.) I've heard she's often bopped you on the head when she's mad at you. Well, she'll grow up too someday and you'll wonder where the time went.
Tonight you are leaving for Ohio with your family to see some of your aunts and uncles from Ohio and Mexico. Go with God's grace little one and may he bring you and your loving family back home to Iowa so Grandma can spoil you again. I love you so...Grandma (Halfmoon)
I would like to introduce you to my brother, Denny. January 10 would have been his birthday! I wish he were here. He was 10 years older than me. He was the oldest in our family and I was the baby or 'tail ender'. I have two sisters who were in between us in age, but I wasn't close to them.
When I was young, my brother also seemed like my second dad. At least it felt like that when I did something wrong. I heard about it from both Dad and Denny. On the lighter side Denny called me 'Cappy'. His favorite line was "Cappy Capicious, go do the dishes!" I got tired of hearing that one.
Once when he was acting like he thought he was really something, he swung his belt around and the buckle accidentally hit me above my eye. It made a little bead pop out of place (probably cartilage) and it was there until a few years back when I had it removed. Sometimes I wish I hadn't had that done as it was always a reminder of my big brother.
He went to South Korea when he was around 19 years old and wrote letters to me. I remember he always enclosed a few words in Korean for me and their meaning.
When I turned 19 and was married, he ceased being my second dad and became my best friend. He could see that I had made a huge mistake, one that I couldn't see until 3 1/2 years into it. I was in a physically abusive relationship and was convinced if I would try to get out of it, my husband would kill me.
One day when I was leaving my parents' house, Denny put his arm around me and walked me to his car. I began to wonder if he was going to try to put a move on me and I was scared. Denny told me "If you ever need me, just call, I'll be there for you." I had a lump in my throat and I hugged him and kissed his cheek. That meant more to me than anything.
Denny was true to his word. It wasn't long after that stroll to my car when I found out my husband was having an affair and had been throughout my entire marriage. I decided I would rather be dead than continue to live with him. I called my mom who only lived a block and a half away and told her "I'm leaving Jerry. If I'm not there in ten minutes, call the police for me." I didn't want her getting hurt if Jerry came home and caught me in the act of leaving. I rushed around the house gathering things that I thought were important. Someone knocked on my front door, I froze thinking Jerry was back. But then I realized he wouldn't knock, he'd just come right in. I answered the door with trepidition. It was Denny, he had been at my parents' house when I made the call. He helped me gather the rest of my things, and then followed me down to my parents' house. While we were there I decided to take him up on the offer to stay with him and his family until the divorce was in action.
The next day Denny took me to his lawyer and I started the proceedings to get out of that marriage. He was also a shoulder to cry on when I needed it. We were a lot alike emotionally. I get a lump in my throat when I think of him now. He and his family (except one son) were killed in a car accident in 1982, but that's another story. Two weeks before the accident I hugged Denny and said "I love you so much, it hurts." He said to me "I know exactly what you mean, Sis, I feel the same way". Halfmoon
When I was young, my brother also seemed like my second dad. At least it felt like that when I did something wrong. I heard about it from both Dad and Denny. On the lighter side Denny called me 'Cappy'. His favorite line was "Cappy Capicious, go do the dishes!" I got tired of hearing that one.
Once when he was acting like he thought he was really something, he swung his belt around and the buckle accidentally hit me above my eye. It made a little bead pop out of place (probably cartilage) and it was there until a few years back when I had it removed. Sometimes I wish I hadn't had that done as it was always a reminder of my big brother.
He went to South Korea when he was around 19 years old and wrote letters to me. I remember he always enclosed a few words in Korean for me and their meaning.
When I turned 19 and was married, he ceased being my second dad and became my best friend. He could see that I had made a huge mistake, one that I couldn't see until 3 1/2 years into it. I was in a physically abusive relationship and was convinced if I would try to get out of it, my husband would kill me.
One day when I was leaving my parents' house, Denny put his arm around me and walked me to his car. I began to wonder if he was going to try to put a move on me and I was scared. Denny told me "If you ever need me, just call, I'll be there for you." I had a lump in my throat and I hugged him and kissed his cheek. That meant more to me than anything.
Denny was true to his word. It wasn't long after that stroll to my car when I found out my husband was having an affair and had been throughout my entire marriage. I decided I would rather be dead than continue to live with him. I called my mom who only lived a block and a half away and told her "I'm leaving Jerry. If I'm not there in ten minutes, call the police for me." I didn't want her getting hurt if Jerry came home and caught me in the act of leaving. I rushed around the house gathering things that I thought were important. Someone knocked on my front door, I froze thinking Jerry was back. But then I realized he wouldn't knock, he'd just come right in. I answered the door with trepidition. It was Denny, he had been at my parents' house when I made the call. He helped me gather the rest of my things, and then followed me down to my parents' house. While we were there I decided to take him up on the offer to stay with him and his family until the divorce was in action.
The next day Denny took me to his lawyer and I started the proceedings to get out of that marriage. He was also a shoulder to cry on when I needed it. We were a lot alike emotionally. I get a lump in my throat when I think of him now. He and his family (except one son) were killed in a car accident in 1982, but that's another story. Two weeks before the accident I hugged Denny and said "I love you so much, it hurts." He said to me "I know exactly what you mean, Sis, I feel the same way". Halfmoon
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